


On this Side of Ho Tube.

by rosetintmyworld



Category: GOT7
Genre: Bambam is unashamed, Bambam just want that dick, GRWM dick appointment, Ho!tube, Hoe bambam, Inspired by 'He fucked me with a toothbrush', M/M, Not script form, There really is no excuse for this., Weird format in which Bambam talks to a camera, Youtuber Bambam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-26 01:00:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20381071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosetintmyworld/pseuds/rosetintmyworld
Summary: Channel Description:Welcome to my channel! This channel is for all of the hoes out there trying to live their best lives. Got tips and tricks to help you get that shmoney, and that Dick. Twenty-one Thai Kid Living in the US.





	1. GRWM: Dick Appointment

Bambam posed in front of the camera, checking himself in the viewfinder. 

He sat down, running his hands through his hair. 

“Hey guys, it’s your boy, Double B. Welcome back to my channel. I’ve been asked to do a Get Ready With Me video. I’ve been watching a bunch of other videos on this side of Hoetube, and honestly, no one has a good ass Dick Appointment video. That just won’t do,” Bambam rocked slightly on his knees before eyeing himself in the camera. 

“So, I’m going to teach you guys how I get ready for my dick appointments. Now, you guys know, I don’t play when it comes to my dick appointments, so be ready, because everything I’m about to say, it’s the gospel,” Bambam held his hand up as if to swear on a bible before ruffling his hair again, playing with his bangs slightly. 

“Okay, I’ve got a dick appointment coming in a little bit, so this is really me getting ready, I’m not playing around, I’m not doing it for the views, okay. So the first thing you gotta do is get clean. I’m obviously not telling anyone anything new. You don’t want your dick to get here, and you crusty and dusty. So I take this time to luxuriate, I treat myself like a queen,” Bambam leaned back on his palms. 

“I do my facial treatments, I shave, I moisturize, I make sure I’m good to go, everything is fresh and clean because I’m not about to be out here any kind of way with these boys,” Bambam said before leaning off-camera, grabbing a couple of bottles. 

“Now, after I’m done with cleaning everything, I get out, and I put on this sunscreen. I know you saying, Bambam, why the hell are you putting on sunscreen, you’re about to get dicked down. Yeah, I know that’s the case, but this stuff smells like coconut. Like, I’m out here smelling like I just stepped onto the beach in the Bahamas or something. It’s good, it makes me smell good, and it makes my skin soft, without wasting my good lotion on these idiots. I bet you wish you could smell this,” Bambam put his wrist to the camera, mocking allowing the viewers to smell his skin.

“Now I’ve seen everyone debating about whether or not to put on makeup before a dick appointment. I get the sentiment, I’m trying to be face down, it’s going to get smudged. But, I’m in my own house, those sheets need to get washed anyway, so we’re going to fucking put on makeup. I’m not letting these ghouls see my face without makeup, they not stealing my soul. So I put on some BB cream, something to really smooth out my skin. Then I do my eyes, I generally just do a little mascara and eyeliner not too much, because the lights are going to be low, and I’m not trying to look like the ghost of Avril Lavigne. Now I just put on a little eyeshadow on my lids. Again, not too much, just enough to have them wondering if I’m going to eat them up, spoiler, I am,” Bambam held the palette up to the screen, putting his hand behind it until the camera focused on it.

“Today, I’m going with red, because red is fucking sexy,” Bambam applied red eyeshadow on his lid, giving the camera bedroom eyes. 

“Now, the rest of my face. Yes, I’m doing a full look. I put on color pop highlighter on my cheekbones, my whatever the hell you call these bones right here,” Bambam pointed to his temples. 

“I also put it on the tip of my nose. I put a little on my cupid’s bow too, but only after I put on my lipstick. I always wear lipstick, swear by it,” He said. He held his lipstick up, showing the brand before pulling the applicator out of the bottle and using it to smear the color on his top lip.

“Here we go, now someone’s asking, why are you putting lipstick on, you’re literally about to get dicked down, what’s the point. Bitch, don’t front. You know nothing gets these jokers going like seeing lipstick on the base of their- well you know what I’m saying. So, I always put lipstick on. My lips are fucking gorgeous, and they need to be recognized. Now, the next thing I do after getting my makeup in check is get my hair in check. I don’t do much, just run a little leave-in conditioner in it, to make it soft and silky for when he starts trying to pull on it.” Bambam poured a small dime-sized portion of leave-in conditioner in his hands before rubbing his palms together. He rubbed the product through his hair, pulling through the end of his strands before tousling his hair until it laid sexily on his head. 

“Look at that, I’m a fucking snack already,” Bambam admired himself in the viewfinder before standing up. 

“Now, you gotta get your fit set. You can’t just show up in just some ratty rugrats T-shirt. You got to look sexy, give him a show. I personally just open the door butt naked, because there are no pretenses here, I’m just trying to get fucked. But sometimes, if he’s cute, I like to get a little cheeky. Like this,” Bambam twirled slightly, showing off the short boxer briefs and the breezy robe he was wearing. 

“Damn, I’m so hot you guys, like these fools are out here dying for this ass,” Bambam turned to the side, running his hands over his ass before shaking it slightly and laughing. 

“Alright, after that, I just go around and pick up a little. You have to realize that these boys out here do not care about what your house looks like, this is all for you. You can’t just be laying there, worrying about that crusty sock hanging off of your lamp, like it’s not cute. You gonna be clenched up and you ain’t going to be able to let him in, and honey, this dicking is for you, you got to let him in. So I just go around, pick up some things. Set the mood really. I light some candles, turn on some fairy lights, get a playlist going. Find something sexy, something that makes you wanna fuck, you know? I turn on my oil diffusers, gotta put on that vanilla and jasmine, gotta make it smell good. Now after that, the last thing I do is realize that this appointment is for me, I’m not doing this for him. I’m doing it for me. Like I’m probably not going to fuck him again, he’s lucky to make it into my love hotel, this is a privilege for him. I’m here to take care of myself and make sure that I’m pleased. You just gotta think like that, and lose all that tension, all that nervousness, like if he starts acting up, remember, you could do this with a vibrating wand and some peace and quiet. Kick his ass out if he starts trying to disrespect you, or your surroundings and that's basically it,” Bambam said right as his doorbell rang. 

“There he goes,” Bambam said, reaching towards the camera. 

The scene cut out to a new one of Bambam's house as the camera swayed as if he were holding the camera. 

“Alright, one of the most important things to do is to light sage afterwords. You gotta cleanse the house of his spirit when he leaves, you gotta kick it to the curb,” Bambam said, waving sage around the house. 

“These jokers are really out here, leaving their negative energy and draining your life like you got to get rid of ghosts of dicks past.”

Bambam sat down in front of the camera, fluffing his wild hair. 

“And that is it. As you can see it went pretty well.” Bambam shifted his head, showing off the reddening bite marks on his collarbone. 

“That is how I get ready for my dick appointments. If you liked this, go ahead and smash that like button. If you haven’t already, subscribe to my channel for more hoe tips and ring the bell for notifications. Alright, I’m going to go and get ready for bed, Peace out,” Bambam waved at the camera with a smile.

The screen cut out to black as Bambam's outro music played. 


	2. Story Time: I'm A Fraud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bambam's back for a Storytime and a certain someone crashes his video.

  


Channel Name:

DoubleB

Channel Description:

Welcome to my channel, this channel is for all of the hoes out there trying to live their best lives. Got tips and tricks to help you get that shmoney, and that Dick. Twenty-one Thai Kid Living in the US.

Video Title: DICK APPT GONE WRONG

Video description: Back for another storytime. I’m ashamed of myself...

Bambam walked into the frame, sitting down on the floor. He crossed his legs, leaning his elbows on his knees and pushing his hands through his hair. It was quiet for about twelve seconds. 

“I’m so ashamed,” Bambam whispered before shaking his hair out.

The shot cut out. 

“Hey guys, it’s your boy Double B. Welcome back to my channel. So, it’s been a while since I’ve had a storytime for you guys. Now, I know a bunch of you are looking at the title, and wondering what the hell I’m talking about, How am I fraud, that’s what I’m going to talk about in my storytime. Okay, so, as you guys know, I consider myself the queen of hoetube. Like, I’m a slut, I’m aware, I know what I’m doing, and I’ve always been very vocal about it. I know what I like, and I’m not afraid to get it. I tell you guys everything on here, because I’m not ashamed, or at least, that used to be the case,” Bambam shifted on his sitzs bone, reaching forward to adjust the camera. 

“Okay, so like I’ve said it before, I have a type, I have things that I look for in my dick appointments, and I have rules. Now, you guys know your boy, you know he’s a hoe, and he’s not ashamed of it. He like fucking. I love it, like breakfast, lunch, dinner, every meal is dick for this ho. I’m particular about my dick, don’t get it twisted, I’m not hopping on any dick I see, but I’m not uptight. If you can get me off, I’m here for it, you know?” Bambam took a deep sip from the mug that was sitting on the coffee table beside him. 

“You guys also know that I’m picky when it comes to my men’s bedroom standards as well. Like, Your boy has things that he doesn’t fuck with. Like big dicks. I don’t like big dicks like some people are just like crazy for that shit, and I’m not. I like sucking dick, I don’t like gagging, it's simple like if I can fit your whole dick in my mouth, I’m good. I’ve literally run away from big dicks, like it’s a no. You guys know that. So I guess that leads into my storytime. Go ahead, get something to drink, this tea is still piping hot bitches,” Bambam took another sip from his cup, before clapping his palms together. 

“Okay, so, if you guys remember, my last get ready with me video was a dick appointment video, if you haven’t seen it, I’ll link it down below. Anyway, I was telling you all about how I got ready for my dick appointments and I told you guys that I was really getting ready for a dick appointment. I wasn’t lying you guys, I did my whole routine, I was looking cute, and then, the doorbell rings. So I go to the door and invite him in. He’s cute, six-foot-tall, broad shoulders, a thick ass neck, and a soft voice. Now, I’m here for it, my basement is flooded, I’m drooling, I’m ready to fuck this dude. So, I invite him in, no pretense, no drinks, no nothing, straight-up bring him to the fucking bed and start the process. He’s got big ass hands and god his voice, his voice is so cute, so high, and he’s moaning my name like I’m Jesus and he’s here to confess. Then it happened,” Bambam paused, running his hands through his hair.

“Now, I know a lot of you are thinking, what the hell happened? Did I decide not to go through with a perfectly good dick appointment, did I shit on his chest? Did I god forbid let him cum and not myself? No. It’s worse. Much worse,” 

Bambam leaned his head in his hands. 

“We were doing good, so good, he came to play. No pause, he literally eats me out before I even touch him, He makes me cum and I’m down for it, I’m ready to give this boy the works. So, I’m going down his body, taking off his clothes, biting and nipping his skin, because he’s got a dancers body, with the best hips I’d seen in a long time. I start to take off his pants when it hits me. I mean literally fucking hit me in the fucking face. This little baby voice bastard has a big fucking dick. No, I don’t mean average, I don’t mean slightly large than average, I don’t mean oh he’s big because I’m tiny. He has a huge fucking cock and it’s staring me in the fucking face and he’s looking down at me with the same expression as his dick is like it’s embarrassed as if he doesn’t realize he has a huge fucking dick,” Bambam paused. 

“So, you guys know I like my rules, I follow my rules to a fucking T. I’m always making sure I’m getting mine if you know what I mean. I don’t fuck around on my rules because I fucking know what I like. I like small dicks, and I don’t fuck them twice, I definitely don’t date them. If I’m not feeling a situation or a guy, I get the hell out of there. So what do I do, when I’m all dressed up and ready to get fucked. I’ve got the taste for dick, you know how like sometimes you get a craving, a taste in your mouth and you can’t eat anything else like you want Zaxby's not taco bell? You know, so I’ve got a dick taste in my mouth, and I’m sitting here, staring this huge fucking dick in the face and I’m thinking to myself, what is a poor little hoe to do? Do I kick this otherwise perfect boy out after he has eaten my ass like he was a starving man and this was his last meal? Or do I compromise my morals and eat that dick?”

Bambam grabbed his cup, holding it to his mouth. 

“I ate that dick,” Bambam muttered into the rim of his cup before taking a sip. He put the cup down and kicked his feet.

“Don’t judge me, I can feel you guys judging me. I know that I shouldn’t have, I know that I should have just kicked him out like I already got mine, but I’m a hypocrite, and it was only one time, so it’s not that bad, I came, he came and we parted ways right?” Bambam picked his cup back up. 

“I’ve fucked him at least seven more nights,” Bambam spoke into his cup again. 

“Stop judging me! I’m growing, evolving, opening up my prospects, it’s not like I’m going to call him again, it’s not like I’m boo’d up or something,” Bambam said and he was tackled to the ground, the boy laying him on the carpet. 

“You’re not boo’d up?” Yugyeom asked from on top of Bambam and Bambam leaned up to kiss the taller boy. 

“Okay, I’m a little boo’d up,” Bambam teased as he pulled away before looking at the camera. 

“So, this is said dick appointment. He’s the one with the big dick that fucked up my hoe situation. This is why you can’t half-ass the sage. I swear, they leave their fucking spirits behind and next thing you know, you have gone and caught feelings,” Bambam complained and Yugyeom leaned down, biting Bambam’s bottom lip. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute, you know that, or I wouldn’t tolerate this big dick bullshit,” Bambam complained and Yugyeom nuzzled his nose. 

“Wait- you thought I had a small dick? What made you assume I had a small dick?” Yugyeom said, grabbing a pillow and smacking Bambam with it. 

The camera cut again. 

“Alright you guys, I’m going to go get fucked, if you liked this video, remember to smash that like button. If you’re new to the channel go ahead and subscribe and ring the bell for notifications. Say bye Yugyeom,” Bambam said and Yugyeom waved bye to the camera before hoisting Bambam up onto his hips and walking him off-frame. 

Bambam laughed off-frame. 

The camera cut off.


End file.
